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techniques for dealing with trauma
today i woke up from a horrific dream where i was back at my school. the worst part of this dream was that even though i knew i was supposed to be living a different life, i was complacent with what was happening, i didn't fight back. it makes me feel that at any moment, this beautiful life i currently have could be ripped away from me, and i would be okay with it.

what are your techniques for dealing with past trauma? my good friendo bigch advised me to write it down. i have done this before, it is quite a useful method. i have a massive txt file of writing of my thoughts on various topics, particularly if they are painful for me to deal with, so that I don't have to keep reminding myself of them every day. I hope to publish that txt at some point somewhere or just release it on my website. I have so many now it could turn into a minibook - I just checked and what I already wrote down was 3400 words, just now thinking about school I wrote 800. i will tell the world of the true ways of the googa.

some traumas can be turned into art, but it requires very specific arrangements, art that only keeps reminding of the cruelties of life with no additional substance, no light to give context to the darkness, is boring and banal. I already know life sucks sometimes, I don't need constant reminders. This is one of the reasons I don't really watch horror movies, at their core they are just depressing. that is why films like Saw or Mist are horseshit to me, for the entire appeal of them is their depressing/torturous nature, but I love games such as The Longing, and even made games such as serial masturbator or kool, because even though those games are rooted in depressiveness, they do not bank on it, there is so much more to them beyond that. and of course, it is true some fantastic stories cant be told without a little blood.

im a little lost in what i just wrote, but i feel it is the truth. what do you think?

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